Of catnaps and catnip.

I have a very entertaining cat. His intelligence takes us by surprise sometimes. For instance we have seen him flush the toilet on three separate occasions. All that remains to be done is to teach him to piss in it first. He walks about the house confident in the assumption that he rules it and that it's his territory. This inspite of the fact that he shares it with a very big, very jealous dog and a hysterical female cat. I'm going to stop here to describe my female cat (all you dog lovers may notice I'm not taking time out to describe my dog. Thats because this post is devoted exclusively to my cats). She's naturally sterile and hence naturally very crabby(my dog's been operated and she's also very crabby. I am not, in case you're wondering, referring to the formiddable, retired, sultry vixens of our species). Although she's sterile she gets plenty of action about once in two months (she's got it made huh! All the fun and none of the responsibility). At this point she becomes possessed by her inner demons. Primary amongst these being her indignation at having to share space with a drooling, disgusting beast. She gets very exhausted from all her late night orgies, where I'm quite sure she does catnip, and returns in a very bad mood(catnip hangover). This bad mood she promptly takes out on our poor resident disgusting beast, which if you haven't guessed refers to my dog. She makes my dog cower in a corner with just a reproachful glance. If she passes her in a narrow corridor she arches her back and lets out a long-drawn meaningful meow, as if to say, if you as much as breathe on me you're dead fish.
On one rare occasion she decided to take matters into her own hands and let the DB know who's boss. My brother was on the phone, my mom was in the kitchen and I was on the computer. We suddenly heard that meaningful meow I was talking about earlier, followed by a series of cat shrieks and dog growls. We rushed outside to find both of them locked in combat. Although the cat is smaller we were wondering who we should rescue first because the dog seemed to be losing. I finally pulled my cat, kicking and screaming, away from my dog. We checked both our pets to see what damage had been done only to find that my cat was unharmed while my poor dog had a scratch near her eye. According to eyewitness accounts, my dog was napping peacefully under a chair when my hysterical cat leapt on her. Hence i described her as being hysterical. She's is intolerant of any other animal other than her numerous lovers and that too only once in two months. As a pet she's adorable. She jumps up onto our lap, looks into our eyes and purrs loudly. She is also very gentle with us. I haven't been scratched by her intentionally even once, which if you know cats is a very big achievement and knowing me is an even bigger one since I love to annoy my pets. All you PFA members reading this, by annoy I don't mean that I drop hot objects on them.
In contrast to my female feline my male one strongly resembles my dog in all aspects but one. He doesn't like to snack on crap the way my dog does. Which embarrassingly she loves to do. We have tried stopping her in every way possible but when we aren't looking she sneaks out of the house, runs out onto the road and well... lets just say she doesn't feel too hungry for dinner.
My macho cat is so distinct from his feline flat mate in the most basic of ways. First off, he throws his legs out when he walks unlike our delicate female who always crosses her legs when she walks. He eats anything we put in his dish and has a very sunny disposition. The only time he's lost his temper has been when I tried to take his dish away from him while he was eating. His hobbies include pushing things off shelves (especially if they make a crashing noise on landing), playing with water and tormenting our female feline. Unlike all the other cats I've had, this one loves water. He spends inordinately long hours in the loo running around and dipping his paws in buckets filled with water. He also loves performing complicated maneuvers in order to reach and irritate our FF. This is very easily accomplished since if he lays a single claw on her she screams bloody murder. Unfortunately this just motivates him to bug her more. Thus our house is in perpetual chaos. People on the road think we torture our pets... His torment of our FF continues till she runs outside. He doesn't follow her because he is only 6 months old and still very scared of venturing outside, despite his brave exterior. All in all he's the only man in my life without whom life wouldn't be worth living. He even gives me gifts now and then, so what if they are predominantly of the dead rodent kind.
To all those people who thought that all cats are alike I hope this post has cleared your doubts...